MY WORST NIGHTMARE!

Ok, this morning I got woke up with terrible feeling. I had a nightmare .. THE WORST WORST WORST NIGHTMARE I’ve ever had in my entire life!! X_X.

It's about death. I dislike death, especially if people I love died.. that's the reason why I NEVER want to attend burial ceremony; mourning in home is still okay to go.

So, the nightmare was about my friend (who is very meant to me) died. Lets call "H". In that dream, H was dead because of train accident. I was told by someone in that dream that he died because stood up near the neck of train wagon, then there were some shakes, and he lost balance and fell off to under the rails of train. Can you imagine that?? It's too scary information in dream.

Then after I heard his dead news, I was histerically shocking & grieving in the dream.

Before I heard the news, a couple days ago I still met him (still in dream). I met him in one fine dining restaurant. I am not quite sure it was accidental meeting or because we attended same party. But I knew, I was quite shocked to meet him there, we stared each other for a while, then nothing happened or even said (as usual?) and we went back with our agendas. He was with his friends, sowas I. I remembered that, I actually had something to say to him in the dream, really wanted to say something. I was feeling unpleasant, uncomfortable there. But until I got out from restaurant, I still didn’t say anything. But what I remembered, I saw from his face, that he had a great time with his friends. I was quite happy to see that.

And suddenly I heard the news he died of train accident...  BUMP!! My heart.

I couldnt decribe you exactly about my feeling in the dream, but really, it was so painful scene. Really painful. Even I felt the bump as if real happened.

Then, in that dream after heard the news, I confirmed to some of my colleagues “Is it real? Is he really died??” as if I wouldnt believe it .. I kept asking, kept asking, kept asking. I couldnt accept the fact he died. I even felt it so real. It felt like, we tried to go back to reality, but our dream is too scary & "real", so we felt the dream is our reality. Have you ever got kind of feeling?

Then thanks Goodness, I woke up. To the  real reality. Then I really thanked for the accident was FORTUNATELY just a dream. You had the heat, the sweat, and little water in the edge of your eyes.

***

I don’t know what this dream was talking about. Some kind of subconcious dream under our id, like Freud psychoanalysis theory said? Or maybe trying to tell me something that I should have done in real life? I still wondered why this dream popped up after I decided to leave some stories keep unsaid. This dream might be encouraging me to change my mind.

Maybe I really need to say those feelings. Maybe I do need to tell it before anything bad happen, or I would be feeling sorry in rest of my life later.

Aghh I definitely still don’t know what to do right now. = ="